Drunk Uncle

It’s Thanksgiving, and your uncle is already causing a scene. He stumbles into the living room, clutching a bottle of cheap whiskey, slurring some half-baked story about his glory days in college. His breath reeks of booze and regret, and you can see the familiar look of exasperation on your mom’s face as she tries to keep the peace. He’s already spilled gravy on the carpet and knocked over the vase of plastic flowers your grandma insists on displaying every year.

As dinner progresses, he gets louder, his anecdotes more outrageous and less coherent. He challenges your cousin to a drinking contest, despite everyone knowing how poorly it went last year. The night culminates with him stripping down to his boxers and jumping into the backyard pool, shouting about how he’s “living his best life.” The family collectively cringes, but it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without your Drunk Uncle’s inevitable meltdown. You’d all laugh about it later, but for now, you just hope he doesn’t catch pneumonia.

Description:

It's a bar of soap. Its rectangular. This one is kinda tan colored. There's none of that stupid textured top bullshit. You use it to clean yourself you disgusting shit-heel. It weighs about 4.1 ounces, it's like 2.25 inches tall, 3.5 inches wide, and 1 inch thick. It's a lot bigger than your tiny little cock.

Ingredients:

Since you're such a fucking pussy and need to know every goddamn detail 🙄

Saponified: Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Shea Butter, Avocado oil

Beer, White Kaolin Clay

Essential Oils: Wintergreen, Sweet Birch, Petitgrain, Camphor, Peppermint