God's Vagina

It's 4:00 AM in a Garden of Eden that has not been mowed in a millennium. You are wandering through waist high lavender fields and tripping over discarded harps and half eaten apples while looking for the exit. Suddenly the clouds part and a beam of pure ultraviolet light hits you right in the face. It does not smell like incense or old hymnals. It smells like the beginning of time. It is floral and sharp and slightly intimidating.

This is not your grandmothers relaxing lavender bullshit. This is the scent of a cosmic oversight. It is the aroma of the Big Bang if it happened in a high end apothecary. We blended calming Lavender with the citrusy bite of Bergamot to create a scent profile so divine it is borderline blasphemous.

You are not just washing your neck. You are baptizing your mistakes in a lather that is far too good for someone like you. It is soft and floral and probably the closest you will ever get to a state of grace. Scrub yourself clean of that existential dread and walk out of the shower smelling like the creators favorite secret.

Ingredients:

Since you're such a fucking pussy and need to know every goddamn detail 🙄

Saponified: Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Shea Butter, Avocado Oil

Chamomile Powder, Kaolin Clay

Essential Oils: Lavender, Vanilla, Ylang Ylang, Bergamot